These past couple of days, I've been in some kind of depressive slump.
Yep, a certain someone is back, but the relief is short-lived when you find she's buddy-buddy with another guy that should be you. Best part? The irony of the situation. Someone you got a crush on, she breaks your heart into a million pieces by going out with someone else. Worst part? You can't explain in words your true feelings for that special someone in your life, because you're too g**damn late by weeks or even months. Even worse? You're probably not gonna see her again when you say bye-bye to this ****hole of a school.
That's your problem exactly, you only got 22 days to win her over and have good lovings forever and ever. (Talk about double meanings.) So, you formulate a plan in your mind; you slip your graduation autograph book on her desk, then when she sees it, pull a Rick Astley on her and bust out into some stupid love song before her BF gets the gist of what happened and goes after you.
Next step, you blog/write about how you pulled off the most awesome stunt ever. 'hey gaiz, i pulled of sumting awseom; i totally rick astey'd teh class wen she saw my grad book, tehn i kissed her on teh lips very long and bolted like hell lol!!!!1!!' Then you brag about it, both online and to your RL friends to make them feel worthless and boost your profile. Then, flirt with her in a casual way (a.k.a: just talk to her away from prying eyes, normally, so she doesn't suspect a thing) for 3 hours, so you got a thing going.
Next step, watch tons of the right kind of movies so your hormones are fired up, then invite her to your house in a casual, friend-like sort of way. Keep it that way until it's almost time for her to leave; then spill your guts out to her. She'll fall in love with you, just like in the movies, and kiss you the same way you did with her. Next, over the weekend, invite her, but this time for a sleepover. When no one is gonna be home, call her boyfriend and tell him to be there ASAP. Then, bust open the wine cabinet, and share some. (Enough to make her forget that she has a boyfriend, not really drunk.)
Next...you already know what's next. By the time you get through 10 minutes of the closest thing to heaven on earth, her boyfriend is gonna walk in, see you two doing things he thinks only he has the right to, and GTFO ASAP (50% says he'll make a dramatic speech over that before he gets out.) Tomorrow, she'll recover from a hangover, an
d you have all the time in the world to comfort her with your presence while she's recovering. After like 12 hours, tell her she can leave, and spend the rest doing whatever. At school, her BF will announce the break-up. Comfort her, then tell her you're willing to be her boyfriend to relieve the sorrow. She'll embrace you, and you're free to brag about it on the Internet to boost your profile even more. Congrats, you just got your crush to hook up with you within 22 days! Just remember to ask her e-mail/phone number so you can talk to her from far away.Now I'm off to boost my profile and my manhood and get my girlfriend in one fell swoop~!
(H*ll no. I hope you can tell I'm not actually serious about the above stuff here. >_>
There's a reason why people tell you to read stuff ALL THE WAY to the end BEFORE jumping to stupid conclusions, and I do not believe that men have to make all the choices in a relationship...If you took any of the above seriously and plan to follow it, stop reading help guides on relationships and learn the difference between having a sense of humor and taking things so seriously that it might been warped past its original intention.)
Well, what actually happened made up for my bad days. School didn't suck as much as usual, the girl I liked actually signed an autograph in my grad book, and I found something interesting in the library to read. Also, the tests weren't as hard as usual. (read: what people made them out to be.)
If that's how the Regents will be for the next subjects and all, then i guess I don't need to worry about them so much, tbh. (I get the feeling that I'm starting to sound cocky here...) Anyway, that's it for now.
